Day #16- Adult ICU (Upgraded to the Downgrade)

I didn't think that today would end on such a positive and wonderful note. It has been such an adventure to be sure. I was awake and going this morning by 8:00 am. I kept hitting snooze on my alarm. That is a good thing. I needed to extra bit of rest. I was out the door by 8:40am.

When I got to the hospital, my wife was sleeping, but I went into her room anyways. She may have already been awake, I don't know, but I got to kiss her good morning. That was nice. I opened her blinds to let in the morning light and I simply sat and visited with her. That was nice. Nice to hear the sound of her voice that at one point in this journey I worried I would never hear again. To gaze into those blue eyes, that for days didn't open and missed almost 8 days of her life. Yes...I enjoyed every second of that conversation because I knew it meant that I would be privileged to enjoy that many more times in the years to come.

Dr. Lichti stopped by and changed the dressing on her incisions. I got to see them. They look really, really good. He was very pleased with how they looked. He told us he is going to take it slow and be very cautious. He said that infection from incisions usually sets in 5-7 days after closing, and we are at that window starting tomorrow. So he is keeping a VERY close eye on things. The is also concerned that he may have damaged her bowel during the surgeries, so he is being very strict on the amount of ice chips she can have. Her IV's are giving what she needs to live, but she so enjoys the ice it breaks my heart to see him cut that back. Oh well, all in the name of quicker healing and homecoming...

At some point during the early morning we had a surprise visitor. My Aunt Dixie stopped in. It was nice to visit with her for a bit. After she left, we again just enjoyed each other's company. After that it was time for physical therapy. She made it up and down the hall and back (about 180 feet). Afterwards, she sat in the chair that I had been sitting in and wanted to blog. So, she sat there for about 20 minutes and typed her post.

Her Aunt Patsy came for a visit today. It was really sweet of her aunt to drive down to visit (like so many have driven so far to do...I just want to throw that HUGE thanks in at the conjunction). We had just settled in for a good long visit and were in the midst of sharing great tales and stories when the nurse came in and basically told us to PACK OUR BAGS 'cause we were OUT OF THERE! That was at about 3:00pm. By 3:30pm she was moved, settled, and had all the pictures of her babies back on the wall. Wahoo! Dr. Lichti wanted her to stay in the ICU, but they needed that room for patients that were coming in in more critical condition than she was.

I ran to get a bite to eat when Patsy left to meet her husband in Salt Lake. My mom called and reminded me that I was supposed to Skype in our baby with my wife. I shoved my food down my throat (and let me tell you I am paying for that now...) and came back. My wife was able to see her baby. It was a bitter sweet moment to say the least. I am very anxious to get this mommy back to her little one. I enjoyed chatting with my parents as well.

Everyone has been such an amazing support group. We are still overwhelmed at the amount of support we are getting. After all, we are OLD news at this point! :) Anyways, after seeing our beautiful baby girl, my wife did another round of PT. This time she made it over 220 feet (clear around the Adult ICU floor). From there our evening evolved into to watching "America's Got Talent" (which is a huge misnomer if you ask me) and then "The Voice" (which is SO much better than Idol ever thought of being).

I talked to the Grands Millett to see how it was going with my kiddos. They seem to be having a blast which makes me happy. My 2 year-old is a tad clingy, but that is to be expected when he feels uncomfortable and being at the Grands Millett's will be that way for a while until he get to know them a little better. I love my kids and can't wait to get back home to them.

I love being in the Adult ICU (which is simply the floor for those that still need more constant care, but are not as critical. So, by coming here, they have announced that my wife is in less-critical condition- YEA!).  They are much more laid back here. I can eat in the room. In fact, I could even move my stuff here and sleep in this room. However, they would NOT like me to do that right now. I am paid through Monday of next week at the Guest House and will be staying there until then. I am not going to be returning to town until I can bring my wife with me. I am giving up some school workshop hours, hours that I really needed, but can't bring myself to attend. Oh well. I don't regret it at all. This is where I need to be. I think she will recover more quickly with me here- at least I HOPE I am helping in that department...

Well, she is asleep next to me in her bed and I am getting droopy-eyed. So I am going to head back to my room and chill. I am just giddy with excitement that we are moving in the right direction here. Thanks for all the prayers, fasts, thoughts, and support! We love you all.

Later...

P.S. One request...please leave comments here on my blog, as well as on Face Book. When we print this blog in a blog book, I want my wife to see all the comments you are sharing. I know, such a demanding little cuss am I!

Day #15- ICU (Going Up? ...Nope...)

Day 15 has led me to really ponder on all of this. As I reflect of the surreal life I have been living the last two weeks, I am beginning to realize just how much of a disconnect I  have with my "previous" version of life.

Today has been a wonderful day and a day of a few setbacks.

THE GOOD:
-Had two more sessions of Physical Therapy today and was quite successful with both. She is doing better with each session. I haven't been in a session since her first session. I usually use that time to eat, stretch, or just go for a short walk. I am very proud of how well she is doing . She is in a lot of pain all the time and handles it well.

-Her voice is about back to full bore. I can't even begin to describe how much I love being able to talk to her and have her respond with a smile and those blue eyes. She has even had conversations with a few of her family and friends. (If you DO call, please keep it short. Her voice tires quickly...she won't tell you she needs to go, but you can tell her voice gets weak).

THE BAD:
-We will be in ICU until at least Wednesday, or so we were told today. Dr. Lichti wants her to take it really slow (which is annoying her A LOT...lol). We were told that we were moving to the 6th floor of the main medical tower today, but then that came to a halt when Dr. Lichti wanted her to stay and ordered more tests for today and probably Wednesday.

-She had to have ultrasounds on both her legs and her left arm. They are checking for blood clots. We haven't heard back yet, so I don't know what the results are as of yet. I am guessing that if it was anything too serious, they would have taken immediate action.

-The Wednesday tests are going to include CT Scans and I am guess more blood work. They are working to isolate the cause of her random higher fevers. I hope they can do so soon.

THE UGLY:
-Thankfully we have nothing to report that fits in this category at this time. We hope it stays that way...


I enjoyed being able to hang out with Mr. Z today during the no visitor hours. I got to see his classroom, glean some AWESOME ideas for next year, and relax and visit for a while. He also came back to the hospital with me and met my wife. I have a feeling he is going to become a close family friend for years to come. Thanks Mr.Z for including me in your day. Kelly P. also came to visit us this evening. It was nice to visit with her and catch up on the 6 years since we have moved.

Tomorrow (or today rather) should be nice. A few scheduled visitors will be just the thing to keep my wife's spirits up. Thanks to everyone for all your prayers, love, thoughts, and support.

We are going to beat this thing...hopefully sooner than later!

Later...

Day #14- ICU (Up and Around)

Today marks the beginning of something new!
My wife was up out of bed today and walking around a little. This is fantastic news in regards to eventually getting home. Way to go babe.

My mom and dad are amazing. They woke up early today and brought my kids up to see me before they left to go with Grandma and Grandpa Millett for a week long stay. The kids  had a lot of fun today. We ate in the cafeteria, played outside on the grass, and had ice cream. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it was to have almost all my babies around me. In fact the kids got a special treat today. My wife was able to make it to her outside window which is on the second floor. The kids were abel to wave to her and yell up that they loved her. She was able to yell down that she loved them and have a short conversation with a couple of the kids. I loved watching it. I know my wife was feeling a little down because she misses holding all her babies.

This evening we had a friend from Nevada stop by and see us on her way to her 10 day cruise. It has been 6 years since we have seen each other. She used to volunteer in my classroom all the time. It was nice to visit and catch up. I was also able to visit Colter and Becky and wash my laundry and enjoy their company. (Thanks for letting me come over again!).

I know this is a shorter post, but I am exhausted and it is after 2am. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, love, and prayers. They are felt and really making a difference. I will elaborate on how we are not out of the woods yet later. The nurse gave us some information tonight that might set us back a bit, but I am not worried. I feel at peace when I think about my wife and her recovery. I love you babe! I am SO proud of how well you did with your Physical Therapy today! Keep it up.

Later...

Day #13- ICU- (Tubeless in Provo)

Saturday the 13th...Hmmmm. I could have sworn it was Friday the 13th. I have been in an interesting mood today. Grumpy with a touch of down right snotty. I can't really explain why I feel this way. I was angry at myself, at my wife, at everyone who looked at me...

I think my mind decided that since she was going to be okay, that she was closed, that she was off her tube, that since all the doctors today had very positive outlooks- I think my mind decided that all the worry, frustration, anger, concern, and "why us"-ness melted into one moody day of release. I hope that it mostly came across as annoyed, not flippant or rude. So sorry to those who came to visit today if my attitude and mood was a little off-putting. I really did try hard to repress it. But, at the same time, I am thankful to have let it out and I am ready to move forward.

This has been a very monumental day for my wife. She was able to get clearance from her surgeon, her respiratory therapist, and her ICU doctor to have her breathing tube removed. Her parents arrived just as they were beginning that process and for some reason, the removal of the tube was the beginning of my mood. Anyways, the tube came out and you could see her attitude, her countenance just lighten up. It was a great thing for her. She was also able to get her hair washed and cleaned up.

I enjoyed a nice lunch with a family from Green River (thank you Pettit family). It was nice to see people from home. Makes it seem like we really DID live there and we really DID have a life before all of this. Kristin also stopped by and stayed with my wife for quite a while today. I am very glad she did as well. I love that people care so much about my wife. She is one amazing lady, and needs the love and support right now to make a speedy recovery. My sister was also a trooper today and hung out with me even though I was a bit grouchy. She even took me to dinner. Thanks sis (and family).

The doctors have made it pretty clear that it will depend a lot on how well she responds to therapy as to how fast she gets to go home. So, when we get started in the next day or so, please keep her in your prayers so that she can come home soon. I long for the routine of a "normal" day with a "normal" family (if that is possible).

Well, all seems to be going really well. The nurses are very positive that she should be out of here in the next day or so.

Thanks for all the love and prayers...

Later...

Day #12- ICU (Happy Birthday My Love)

What a glorious day this promises to be. Add to that the fact that it is my sweetheart's birthday today and you have the makin's for one heck of a day.

Happy Birthday Love...You deserve to have the best day ever!

I thought that getting home so late last night would really make it hard to be here early to share her day before her surgery. But, just like every other day, my eyes popped open at 7:15am. I am beginning to wonder if there is some hidden device or perhaps some daily vehicle drives by...I am not sure. Whatever the case, I was awake. I wanted to go back to sleep, but I really wanted to have time with her before her surgery because after it, she wouldn't be as into doing things.

I read her all the e-mails (like 60+ of them...way to go- thanks for your help with that). She really enjoyed hearing your birthday wishes and thoughts. She smiled a lot and cried some. It was awesome. If you want to still send them, please feel free to do so. She truly loves to hear about you and what you are doing. Just have a gab session with her. Anyways, I digress...

After I read her her cards, she wanted to play a card game. Well, I didn't exactly bring any card games with me so I knew this would be my chance to hit the gift shop and get her a present...apparently a card game...lol.

After being gouged and paying WAY too much for UNO (totally worth it for my wife) I got a birthday balloon (which she CAN have balloons as long as there is NO LATEX) and had the Pink Ladies put her game in a bag and add pretty paper..etc. etc. etc. 

When I got back to the room, my aunt and her husband were visiting with my wife. It was nice to see them for a few minutes. After they left, my wife opened her gift and we played UNO. I won't mention here that I lost to her in the one game we were to played. It was actually quite embarrassing. We won't discuss this anymore...moving on.

We received notification that they were on their way up to take her to surgery. So I kissed her and told her I would see her after her surgery and was a new woman---all closed up and "stuff". She half-smiled.

Just a few short minutes later I was sitting in the waiting area by myself. That was new because I have had someone with me for all four of the other operations. Interestingly enough, Melinda Durrant and her parents showed up to visit. That was nice (thanks for the nice gifts) to have someone to talk with. Shortly after they left my wife's mother and one of her sisters arrived. Her aunt also arrived. We waited through to operation. It was about 2 hours long.

Dr. Lichti came out and explained the situation to us. He told us he closed the abdomen, added a graft, and added 5 drains. I watched her wheeled past as he continued to explain all about the surgery.

We waited about 1/2 hour before venturing up to her room. She was in pretty rough shape. It was nice to see her. From there we went to dinner at Apple Bee's (YUMMY) and then returned to have a small birthday party in her room. We had 10 of us in her room at once. I am hoping to do a birthday post tomorrow with pictures of her "stuff" and the wall in it's current state. Anyways, a big banner was hung, gifts were given, and tears were shed. We then gave her a blessing. I was the one who gave the blessing. It was nice to provide that service for me wife. I recorded her family singing to her. That was really neat.

After all of that was done, we all headed to Arctic Circle for ice cream. FINALLY, I got some. I have been wanting it for along time now. 

I have since been sitting here with my wife working on blogging, journaling, and chatting. I just realized that I am spending so much time updating, writing, and journaling that I am missing the actual experience. I won't go off-line completely, and I promise to update often, but I need to focus more time on my wife. So, don't worry if there are less postings...FB updates...or other things. 

We love all of you for your love, support, prayers, thoughts, and other ways of service. 

Here is to one wonderful woman who had a birthday in ICU and is still upbeat and optimistic. That alone shows that she is one her road to recovery. 

Later...

Day #11- ICU

Ah...greetings to day 11 from Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo, Utah. It would be easy to be negative and think of all the bad things that we have gone through here. (I know, because I do it pretty often). However, every time that I walk into my wife's room, and see her open those beautiful blue eyes and look at the love she has for me in them...I realize that in reality, all that matters is that she is made well. So...here is to a speedy and healthy recovery.

Today was also a victory because I was able to complete my application for financial assistance from the hospital. The case worker wasn't very optimistic about us qualifying for help, but I did all that I could do.

Allisha had lots of visitors today. My 6th grade teacher came up and visited. We went to lunch and it was really nice to sit and visit with her. Ashley (my wife's sister-in-law) came with her kids to visit as well. Afterwards we went out for a late lunch. It was very tasty and I appreciated seeing and visiting with them. Thanks Ashley for thinking of me.

Then I had a blast with two good friends from Springville...no need to name names, they know who they are. They picked me up at the guest house and we went to the California Pizza Kitchen. Now, THAT place was good eats. Then we came back to the hospital and visited with my wife for a while. We laughed and teased. My wife was even writing notes, giving thumbs up, and giving me "the look".

After everyone left (and my wife had her nightly bath) we put my laptop on the rolling table and my wife Skyped her sister in PA. We talked for over an hour. It was nice to visit and my wife even tried to type her a note. It didn't work out so well, but it was sure fun for her to try.

Next, we watched the two episodes of "The Voice" on my laptop. That was nice to sit and hold her hand. Made me fell like we were back at home sitting on the couch and watching TV. After both episodes, I packed up by stuff and headed back here to the guest house. It is now 2:30am and I am pooped.

We learned that her surgery is tomorrow (now today) afternoon. We don't know the exact time.
We have not heard the official results of her CT scan.
We saw improvement in her spirit and alertness today.
Tomorrow (today) is her birthday (don't forget Mission: Allisha's Birthday).

It really should be a great day. Oh, and I am not J-walking anymore. My dad told me he had a horrible dream that did not end well for me. So now I am walking the block down to the intersection and the block back up the other side. I needed the exercise, so it is all good.

Well, I best get to sleep so I can be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the day!

Later...

Day #10- ICU

Well, it can't be said that when the Hughes family does something they do it small. I mean, we have always been taught that if you are going to do something, do it big!

Day 10 has dawned bright and beautiful. I am actually very proud of myself. I left earlier than I have since we got here to head back to the Guest House and I was completely OUT by 12:30 am. I slept until 7:20 am when my eyes popped open. I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep, so I just attacked the day and got ready.

Upon arriving at the Hospital, I found my wife in AWESOME condition. Her fever had broke during the night and she was sleeping. I gently kissed her forehead and said good morning. I can't begin to describe the love, happiness, peace that began to flood into my mind when she opened those beautiful blue eyes and looked at me. From there we had a discussion about when I had left (I had kissed her goodnight, but she was exhausted and been OUT! Yet another reason I left earlier- so she could sleep. It has been nice to have her very alert, writing CLEAR notes, and starting to get a bit feisty.

Dr. Pearce came in and checked her over this morning and talked about her surgery. It is scheduled for 1pm, which I was glad to hear. That means my oldest son will be here to see her when she goes by. He is doing okay, but he really needs to see his mom and dad. I am SO thankful for all the good people around us. Kristin is bringing up my baby girl and my oldest. That means I will have been able to see 4 of the 6. The two little boys were  very cute last night when I was talking to them. My 4 yr old son would talk and talk and talk. He sounded much more grown up than before. My little 2 yr old son didn't really say a whole lot. I hope he hasn't forgotten who is mommy and daddy are...

Yesterday after I blogged (and I was able to slap myself a couple of times and get my mind cleared up), I returned to the room and found her doing okay. Our friend Kelly arrived (I think more to check on me than to see my wife in this case...) and she stayed for quite a while. Iva Wilske, the second grade teacher at my school, stopped by for a visit. She stayed for quite a while too. I am SO thankful these ladies showed up to support my wife and distract me. Iva left and then Kelly stepped out when my wife's parent arrived. It was nice to see them again. They brought her little brother Jordan with them. He just graduated from high school, and it was nice for him and his sister to "visit". During the "You Can't Be In Here Hours" we went to Aunt Roberta and Uncle Keith's house for dinner. It was nice. We ate on their deck and enjoyed the warm-ish evening air.

When we got back to the hospital, Aunt Patsy and Uncle Larry arrived and spent some time visiting with my wife. We were trying not to be a "herd" in the room, so I stayed in the waiting room for most of the time. Before everyone left for the night, we gave my wife a blessing. I anointed and her dad blessed. It was a wonderful blessing and the reason she is doing so well today.

After the blessing, I walked everyone out to the parking garage while the gave my wife her nightly bath. When I returned I visited with my wife, but also enjoyed some quiet time just holding her hands and letting her rest. I think one thing I am really learning is that to let someone know you care you don't have to say anything. I know that sounds really, really dumb and obvious, but again, until it really affects you, you don't understand, not really.

That brings us up to date.

UPDATE: Dr. Lichti just came in for his morning rounds. He explained that it would really most likely be Friday before they close her. They will add drains and may have to use an organic graft (which he explained is pig skin with all the animal properties taken out of it). I sure that may be the source of teasing and laughing at some far future point in our lives...

Her surgery is scheduled for 1pm today, so everyone say a prayer.

I asked what caused all of this and he stated that it was a uterine infection. He wouldn't comment on if it came from the C-Section of just happened ("I have seen these things pop-up out of the blue".) which I think he knew more than he would agree too. But that is okay for now.

I do want to say that my wife LOVED the three e-mails that people had sent. You can send them from HERE. I read them to her and she loved hearing from a few of you. If you get a minute, I would ask that you drop her a note every now and then while she is here. She may not respond to you (at least for a while) but she will enjoy hearing from you and about you.

Also, if you haven't noticed, Face Book is being stupid. So, it and when decides to behave, I can give more of the minute-by-minute updates. For now, this is the update.

Later...

Day #9- ICU

I can't believe that we have been here for NINE days! I have come to not remember what our life was like before all of this! I know I have kids, and I have seen 3 of the 6 in the last 9 days. I miss my babies. Allisha did great yesterday in surgery. She returned and everything looked AWESOME! Then her fever spiked. They have been working to keep it down. It is maintain right now at about 100.9 degrees Fahrenheit (38.3 degrees Celsius) . I have not lost hope...that would be silly. Rather I have grown weary of this routine. However, sulking and whining won't make her better faster (it makes me FEEL better...lol...but is not healthy for a good outlook).

Update from yesterday: Okay, so I was SO tired last night that I thought I could produce a coherent posting, but...ummm...yeah. I should have just deleted that one and started over today. AND, since I was just asked to step out of her room for about 30 minutes while they added a PICC line (an IV line what will go through her arm and up into the chest cavity somewhere), I figured what a prefect time to have an emotional breakdown (after all it has been a few days since my last one...) and then pick myself up and move forward. And it can all done with out my wife knowing anything different.

Her surgery went really well. I as really not anxious about it. I didn't want her to have more abscesses, but knew that it was best to get everything cleaned up pronto, but if that is what it takes to make her whole again, so be it. I know this is going to be a life altering event. I don't know to what extent this will affect our family, but I know it will forever change us. It is amazing how much you take for granted. I have always heard that said, but never really understood it until these last nine days. I also think, that unless you have an experience like this, you WON'T know just how much you take for granted. It really sucks (excuse my language) to have that hand of reality reach up and smack you across the face. On the flip-side, you don't realize how many people are there for you until a situation like this. It has been beyond humbling to have envelopes of money handed to me. I know that I need the help- we really have nothing, but I think about these families that are giving up so much for ME and my family. I think about the kids of their children, their lives, and I feel so guilty about taking the gifts. I know...I know...I know...take it graciously and say thank you. Again, if you have never been there, it is a lot easier to say than do. I tell my wife each time we are given a gift, and she shakes her head and tears run down her cheeks. She closes her eyes and I just hold her hand and cry with her. It is nice to be loved, and hard at the same time. I wish everyone could make her better, I wish I could do something to help her. I feel like I am so helpless sitting there, staring at her, wishing it was different...wishing I could so something useful. I stare at the pictures of our babies and try so hard to keep it all in. I miss them...I love them...and they are suffering because one man wouldn't take the time to listen to a woman who knew she wasn't well, who knew she was sick, and told her to deal with it and see him in two weeks...two weeks she would have been dead. I am SO ANGRY right now at him. How dare he? How dare he treat a patient- MY WIFE- like he did. How can you ignore someone who is asking...crying for help.

Then I realize that I am just as guilty in the sense that I should have taken these matters into my own hands. I should have done something earlier. And the worst part is...I think I wanted to wait a little because I knew we couldn't afford it...She said she was feeling better, but I could see she wasn't getting better. I hate myself for not doing something about it earlier. I also know I can't blame myself, at least not forever. So we pick up the pieces and we move on.

Well...that all just kind of poured out onto the page. Sorry about that.

Today has been an interesting adventure already and it is only 10:44am. I found her with a high fever still left over from last night. They are still doing Tylenol every 4 hours and a cold wash cloth on her head (something that I can actually help with). Dr. Lichti came in and spoke with me. Said everything was wonderful still, fever al little high, but planning on surgery tomorrow (most likely in the afternoon). They are going to do blood cultures and add a new course of a different antibiotic to see if there is an infection that isn't being taken care of.

Hopefully on Friday (her birthday) they will close her and put in her drains. 2-3 more days in ICU, and then moved to a regular room for up to 4 weeks, depending on how everything goes. We haven't found the road to recovery yet...more like we are on the grassy path NEXT to the Forrest trail that leads to the road. (loosely stolen from a friend's comment today).

My wife's parents will be here shortly after 5pm. Just as visiting hours end. So, we will have time to visit and catch up on stuff. A teacher from my school is stopping by for a brief visit as well. I have found that I love to have visitors and I love to be alone. That way I can be a happy person around the visitors, and have my quiet, private time to grieve, be emotional, and pull myself together.

I guess I should head back in now that it has been an hour and I have been out here having my weekly break down (maybe it is something to do with Tuesdays...) but all is going ok for now. Thanks for all the FB comments, prayers, thoughts, calls, texts, and other prayer friendly media.

More coming soon...

Later...

P.S. Here is her wall in her room. Thanks to the amazing ladies who made it possible (and all those who have sent cards and pictures to hang).

Day #8- ICU (Memorial Day)

Happy Memorial Day! 

What a wonderful day to remember those who have given their all for others. Kinda like all those who have gone out of their way to help our little family as we continue to struggle through this crazy adventure we are on.

Today has been a wonderful day, all things considered.

My wife was scheduled for surgery at 8am this morning, so I made an effort to be up and going by 6:20am so I could be there for a while before they took her to surgery. I was a little nervous because I didn't want to sit alone in the waiting room. I tend to stress myself out. However, as I sat with my wife this morning, her doctor walked in to give me an update for the day. As he was leaving his phone rang and from his conversation I just knew that we wouldn't be having surgery anytime soon. I looked at it as at least she wasn't so critical that they could push her surgery back a bit.

Well, it turned out to be more than a bit. More on that later...
Shortly after being told surgery would be pushed back, I got a message from that desk that a Kelly Perry was waiting outside. I went and let her in. She sat and visited with me and my wife for several hours. Ok, so she visited with my wife for several hours, while I had the opportunity to go and spend time with my 6 and 4 year-olds. What a great day is was. I LOVED seeing my two babies. They were a bit crabby and whatnot- made me feel just like I was at home. I was able to take the kids to lunch and dinner while they where here. My wife's sister and her husband and kids showed up for the evening. It was nice to have them here. We had a great visit. As they were leaving they handed me an envelope and told me that it was to help us out. Again, far too much and I wanted to explain how I couldn't accept it, but I keep hearing the words over and over in my head, "Be gracious, accept it, say thank you". I realize that one of the lessons that I have to learn through all of this mess we are in, is just that- to allow others to help. Of course, I think that I have used up all the service of others. I am very worried that when we still need help, the ward will be at their ropes' end. I guess time will tell.

So, all this happened this morning before lunch. In fact my wife's visiting teacher stopped into to see her as well. So she had plenty of visitors today (what a blessing).

I know there is more to share, I know, but she needs to rest and do do I, Thanks for all you did and continue to do. I am very grateful to you all.

Day #7- ICU

The sabbath day started out wonderful. I was able to sleep in a little bit and then quickly shower and get over to my wife. She was doing wonderfully well. I was please to arrive and have Jayna, her nurse, tell me that all was well. My wife's sister and her husband stopped by and visited for quite some time. While they were visiting, Brother and Sister Kendall stopped by and allowed us to partake of some spirituality. It was very calming and wonderful.

After my wife's sister and husband left (which by the way, left me with an envelope and  with something for "me" inside. Your gift was more than generous and gratefully accepted). After they left, I sat with my baby until Colter and Becky came and visited with my wife and I for a while. That got us to No Visiting Hours time. Colter and Becky had previously invited me over for dinner and the use of their laundry facilities. It was a wonderful time, to be around a family. I enjoyed playing with them and hearing children laughter again. I have missed that dreadfully. After all was said and done (and we ate our BBQ baked cookies) they generously returned me to the Guest House first, and then across the street in front of the hospital at which point I returned to my wife's side. I arrived to find another of my wife's sisters here. That was a pleasant surprise. I visited with them for a while before settleing down to sitting by my wife. It was interesting to watch how they freshen them up with a sponge bath, clean sheets, etc. It made me happy to see that they are really making an effort to keep her clean and happy as possible.

I decided to come home earlier tonight so I can be ready to be at the hospital by 7am tomorrow. She is scheduled to enter the surgery room at 8am and I want to be with her for a few minutes before they take her into surgery. Tomorrow is going to be a wonderful day as well because I get to see my oldest daughter and 6 year old son. I am hoping to find a way to get my oldest son up here soon, and definitely want to seem my two baby boys. So much is happening so fast I can't hardly keep up.

I apologize if there are lots of typos. I keep waking up to find a row or two of some random letter, so I will take that as a sign to sign off and sleep. I will update as soon as possible after the surgery.
Tomorrow is going to be a great day-
Later...

Day #6- ICU

Update to Day #5- Surgery: She went in to surgery at 3:00ish pm. She was in surgery for two plus hours. Dr. Lichety came out after the surgery and explained that everything had gone well. He did explain that he had found and removed two more pockets of abscesses, one by her liver and one lower in her abdomen. She then spent the night and part of the today recovering from that. One special moment happened while they were taking my wife to surgery. My oldest daughter had come with my parents to see me (thanks for bringing her. I need to see my babies). When they wheeled my wife by on her bed, the anesthesiologist stopped the bed and asked her if this was her mommy. My daughter nodded yes. He had her come over and tell her she loved her and my wife was able to have human contact with one of her babies. It was a very special moment. My parents took me to my aunt's house in Alpine so I could pay my monthly bills and we had dinner there as well. Then we returned home (a.k.a. Hospital) so I could be with my wife again. I ended up going to bed around 3am. After her surgery she didn't do very good. Her temperature was really high, her blood pressure was low, her heart rate was also very high, and she was breathing way too fast. Even though I was able to chat with four good friends on-line, I left feeling very down and depressed about how things were going.

Day #6- So what happens when a person hit the lifetime maximum on the health insurance? This question has been bugging me now for a couple days. I know I need not worry, for even if I have to give up my house and car, I just want a healthy and happy wife. So that isn't the problem- but it continues to plague my mind. I would be crazy to not think that we will hit $1,000,000 mark with this adventure. Two weeks minimum of ICU and then up to 3 weeks in recovery mode. Anyways...

After not going to bed until after 3am, I didn't awake until almost 9am. I was a little frustrated with myself, but I also realized that it was not a sin. The nurse would have called me if there had been any major problems. I decided it was going to be okay. I showered, got dressed, and headed over. Jayna was the nurse on duty this morning. She gave me the morning report. Everything was looking much better. Her temp was still a little concerning as it was a little high AND the cooling blanket was still running.

My sister and her husband showed up around 10am. What a great day it was to spend with them. They spoiled me at Wal-mart and took me to lunch. We ate at In-n-Out. That was mighty tasty. (Thanks for that!) When we got back, my wife's sister and her husband came to visit. When they left, it was time to head to over to the guest house because I can't be here in the ICU from 5-7. I took another shower and then rested for about 2 hours. I awoke to my phone ringing which frightened me a little. I was very pleased to see the name "Mr. Z" on the caller I.D. (okay, it actually said his whole name). He offered to take me to ComdeySportz for a couple hour improv show. It was a hard decision, but I had never met him and I really needed to a fun activity to help get me out my emotional funk. So I agreed to let him pick me up and I went. Talk about 2 hours of fun and laughter. Man that was great. He dropped me off between the shows. I had fun meeting and talking with Mr. Z for the few minutes that we had.

When I got back the the ICU, everything was looking even better than before. Joe is her nurse tonight and she is so fun and funny to be around. I can't say enough good things about the staff here. They have been helpful, pleasant, and thoughtful of not only my wife, but me as well. They are always asking if I need anything, explaining what they are doing, and such.  Anyways, her temp is WAY down (in fact she is now cold...36.6 degrees cel.) and she is resting. I talked with my sis-in-law in PA for over two hours tonight on Skype. Cool program, I must say.

Tomorrow will be another rest day for her. Her next surgery will be on Monday morning at 7:30am. Then Wednesday, and then hopefully they can close her on Friday. I really hope it all goes well so that we can move on and be done with the ICU portion of this adventure.

Well, it is late (2:10am) and time for me to head over to the guest house and rest. Some friends have invited me over to dinner tomorrow. I am also going to do my laundry while I am there. What a blessing good friends are.

Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, calls, notes, etc. We will never be able to repay everyone, but we will love you forever!

Later...

Day #5- ICU

Well, when you add 5 +5 + 5 you get 15. I think. So, what does that have to do with anything? A lot actually. I have had 15 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. Now, I know that the average is about 4 hours per night (which experts would tell you is NOT okay), but it has been 5 hours each night for three nights. So that is better. It really helps that I have some funds to stay at the Guest House across the street. Thanks again to everyone who has helped out.

When I arrived this morning, I grilled the nurse about her condition. Okay, maybe not "grilled" as that sounds like I yelled and stuff. I was a big question box. I have to give a huge kudos to the staff here at UVRMC. Talk about amazing. They really are a caring group. Never once have they made me feel dumb or silly for asking. In fact, they are constantly checking to see if I have any questions. I must say that I am getting good and telling what all the beeps and alarms mean (and this is good as it helps me not get as worried when they sound).

So, the update for the moment is (and I figure life is unpredictable and I can't go for more than the moment):
-Lungs clear
-Blood looks great (Still infected, however)
-Temp coming down and almost normal (she is at 37.4 C which is 99.3 F)
-Has been writing down questions like, "What day is it?", "How do I look?", and "Why can't I remember anything?" (And her handwriting is amazing even when she is sedated).
-Her surgery is scheduled for 2pm today. They are going to go back into her abdomen and check for infection, make sure her bowels are not sticking again, and some other tasks that I can't remember right now. If it look good, Monday will be the day they will close her up. So everyone PRAY REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD that she will be clean inside so we can move forward.

I am holding up well. I get asked that question a lot. I have a place to sleep at night and shower in the morning. I can even do laundry there, so that is nice. I have changed my cell phone voice mail message to a status update, so you can always call and get the latest info there, check here, or Face Book. My minutes are still in peril (and thanks for some good friends in Springville they doubled what I had or I wouldn't even be able to talk at ALL on the phone. I am on Skype now, so if you would like to visit that way for short periods of time, e-mail me and I will send you my username so you can find me.

I am looking forward to my parents and family coming today. It is ALWAYS nice to have family and friends around...and you have all done that so WONDERFULLY! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Well, I just asked her if she wants lotion on her feet and she nodded her head yes. So that is what I am going to do now. I will try to keep you updated as best I can.

Later...

Day #4- ICU

Day 4 has dawned bright and optimistic. I was able to stay at the Guest House across the street from my wife's room. It is very reasonably priced and I can be here in about 2 minutes if something happens during the night. They told me the room would be mine for as long as I needed it (there are only 12 rooms and they go fast, so I don't want to lose it). So, I will be taking up friends on their offers for showers, etc. after they move my baby to a room where I can stay with her, but won't have access to a shower, etc.

Last night was WONDERFUL! I was able to hold and snuggle my 6 year old for a couple hours. My parents ran up after my nieces event last night in Castle Dale and they had my Z man with them. He ran to me and I picked him up and he wrapped his legs around me and put his head and my shoulder and started patting my back. That was something I truly needed. I miss my babies SO MUCH it hurts. Last night my two oldest called and both started crying while they were talking to me. I remember being there. My father AND mother both tried to ditch out on our family (ok not really, they both ended up in ER's in life threatening situations about a year apart. Talk about stress). So I know that my kids are having a hard time. My parents are going to try and bring them ALL up next week sometime so I can be with all of them.YEA!

Anyways,
Last night my parents came and visited me. Then they took us (Z-man and me) to Wally-World. They had promised my son a bike. He was SO excited. He picked out a nice bike, one he can grow into. He has been wanting one of those for a long, long time. My parents also forced me to buy some new shoes and some new clothes. I do mean forced, I wasn't really wanting them to do that. It has been very overwhelming with the outpouring of help and support. I mean yesterday I received an envelope from an elementary school that wasn't even mine with several hundred dollars in it (thank you SO much to all who donated money. It was way too much. I don't deserve it!). I didn't show a lot of emotion when I got it (I am about emotioned out), it really, really touched my heart. I get worried about how do I tell everyone thank you, how do I make sure that I repay everyone in the future, how do I keep taking and not feel guilty like I am using people. I guess this is where I forget about all the "I"'s and realize that I need to let people help- because they really want too.

I got to the guest house around 1am and was sleeping by 2am. It is nice to have a room to stay in and keep my belongings in. I awoke several times thinking I was missing something, but I hadn't missed any calls so I knew things were okay. I finally made myself get up around 8:30am and was here by 9am. I got to tell my baby good morning and she squeezed my hand. I can't believe what a difference it makes to have the love of your life squeeze your hand after not being able to do so for so long. I want to tell her to keep doing it, but the nurses want her to sleep...lol. I guess I should let her. :)

When I arrived, Dr. Lichtey called me and explained what would be happening over the next several days. They are planning to return her to surgery again tomorrow afternoon. Then again on Monday. That is as far  as we can go at this point. He said that he was very pleased with her progress and surprised in many ways by how well she is doing. Her blood is still septic and they are still waiting for the lab results to know what exactly she has.

UPDATE: Dr. Campbell just came in and checked her and gave me the update. He said that she is doing very well, that the plan is to have her home in two from Monday, and that all we can do is follow the plan.
He was very, very happy about how well she is doing. Her lungs are clear, he said that her blood is not what he would consider to have sepsis, and that all is well. WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

So, I am going to end this so it can post. I will try to update again this evening. I can't be with her between 5-7 am and pm. Check for more updates during that time.

Again, thank you everyone for your thoughts, acts of kindness, love, and support. We need it.

Later..

Please Help Me I'm Falling...

 As for the last 3 days, I am not sure what to feel anymore. When I got the phone call on Monday to get to the clinic in town ASAP because my wife might have a heart problem, I had a sinking feeling that things were going to take a turn for the worst. Little did I really know what was in store.

When I got to the clinic, my wife was on an IV and oxygen. She looked tired and emotional (as well she SHOULD be after all her suffering the past few weeks). The PA came in and told us that he was very concerned with her heart rhythms and that he wanted her to go to the Price hospital to be checked out. She was loaded into the ambulance and off she went. I went home and threw stuff in to a bag (thankfully Krisitn and Cindy were there to help me remember items). When she arrived at Castle View, they immediately started running tests: CT Scan, Chest X-ray, EKG, and massive blood tests. My sister-in-law was there and she started demanding answers. She got them too. We found out that, despite out repeated requests to be seen by our doctor to have her seen (more on this another post...I am still trying to work out my anger over how all this happened- it just isn't right!!!) she had become toxic. Her tests revealed massive abbesses within multiple layers of her abdomen and uterus. One was the size of a softball. She had a total of 13 (I think). They also discovered that her blood had become sepsis and she was in trouble (potentially life threatening).


They loaded her up in an ambulance and sent her to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. My sister drove me to the hospital behind the ambulance. When we arrived they pulled her in the ER and immediately began new tests. They discovered that her system was completely off- her chemicals were way out of whack (potassium was at 2.2 and should have been at 4.0, for example). They decided to put her in the IMCU (intermediate intensive care unit) for the night and had her scheduled for 7am surgery.

Through the night she did improve a little as far rebalancing her system with fluids and chemicals. At 7:00 they took her down to surgery. I told her that I loved her and gave her a kiss. She smiled at me. She went through the double doors at 7:30am, and I was able to see her in her room at around 3pm. The infection had reeked havoc on her body. She had to have a complete hysterectomy. They repaired 7 or 8 abbesses, unstuck her bowel from her abdomen (which the infection had 'cemented' in place) and had to clear lesions off the bowel as well.

It was a long and tense amount of time for me. My mother and father-in-law where here with me (thankfully, I would have been a basket case if I would have had to be alone through that). I began to get so anxious that I thought I would explode.

When I finally got to see my wife, I cried. She looked so fragile and I knew at that moment that I couldn't lose her for anything. That was so hard to see her, sedated and on a respirator. Knowing that she would be sedated until after the final surgery was hard too. She wouldn't even know I was there for over a week. I felt so helpless and guilty. Life is interesting that way...we play the blame game when something goes wrong. I find it ironic that we are willing to avoid taking the blame until it become serious, and then we heap it on ourselves. The nurse explained that it was pretty touch and go for the first while. My sisters Cora and Suzette came to visit with me and one of my good friend from Green River decided to come and take me out (was supposed to be for dinner- ended up being dessert, long story...). My wife had two of her sisters show up as well. We all went to dinner at the Golden Corral. When we returned, we found that her condition had greatly improved. She was much more stable and seemed to be improving. Many family members came and went. I enjoyed seeing and visiting with all of them. After my sisters left I met my friend from Green River and we went to Denny's. We stayed there until almost 2am laughing, being smart alecks, and having fun. I needed that...a lot. When we finished, he dropped me off my wife's aunt's house. I also had him give me a priesthood blessing before he left to drive home (crazy man...2.5 hours home. I almost felt guilty, but I needed that experience. Update: He made it home safe at 4am...I know he will be blessed for his unselfishness in doing service and visiting me!)

I have to say that 5 hours of sleep did my world a lot of good. We have been back here at the hospital now for about 4 hours. The doctors and nurses gave a very positive report this morning stating that she looks really good on paper and they have no major concerns about her condition right now.

Does this mean we are home free?
No! But things are looking really positive for right now. They informed us that she will have a surgery on Friday to check for infection and get clean her up inside again really well, then they will repack it with the sponge pack and wait until Monday and do it again. They are hopeful that Monday they will be able to close the incisions they have made. After that it becomes a waiting game as we wait for her body to start to "wake up" and her organs to function correctly. After her body is in full operation again, we were told it could 5-7 days before they will release her to come home. So, my optimistic outlook is to be home by the middle of June. My  baby girl will miss her birthday (in fact she will still be , most likely, but when we get her home, we will have to have a wonderful celebration of her life), but I am just grateful she is still here to have one.

As for all the wonderful, wonderful people who have given so much for our family, and will be called on to do so much more for us, thank you. It is very humbling to have such an outpouring of love and support directed at us. I know we will never be able to say thank you enough and it most certainly won't be enough- but it is all we have to offer. I can't even begin to list all the calls, offers for help, prayers, sneakily paying cell phone bills to give me more minutes, drives to see us, e-mails, texts, and caring for my 6 babies at home, meals for the kids, park excursions, and much more. We love you and are grateful for all that you have done and are doing still...

Later...